New Year, New Pressure: Are Resolutions Helping or Hindering?

As the clock strikes midnight and the calendar flips to January 1st, the world collectively buzzes with excitement about fresh starts and bold goals. The tradition of New Year’s resolutions has become an integral part of our culture, a kind of symbolic way to take control and strive for improvement.

However, behind the excitement often lies a layer of pressure: the unspoken expectation to commit to what are often ambitious changes. For many, this can feel more overwhelming than inspiring.

So. are New Year’s resolutions truly helping us grow, or are they setting us up for disappointment?

The Weight of Expectations

The idea of a "clean slate" at the start of the year is deeply appealing. It taps into a desire for self-improvement and gives us a sense of control over our futures. However, societal expectations can make these resolutions feel less like a personal choice and more like a social obligation.

From social media declarations to casual conversations, we’re surrounded by reminders to make these ambitious changes. Examples include losing weight, starting a business, being more productive, spending less money, going to the gym —the list goes on.

When these goals are driven by comparison or societal norms rather than intrinsic motivation, they often feel hollow and the pressure can build just to keep up,. Couple this with the visibility of everyone else’s goals it can lead to stress and self-doubt.

The Mental Health Impact of Failed Resolutions

While setting goals can be empowering, the way resolutions are often structured can do more harm than good. Common pitfalls include:

1. Unrealistic Expectations: Many resolutions aim for rapid, dramatic transformation. When progress is slow—or non-existent—it can feel like a personal failure.

2. All-or-Nothing Thinking: Resolutions often come with a perfectionist mindset. Missing a single workout or indulging in an extra dessert can spiral into feelings of defeat, discouraging further effort.

3. Shame and Guilt: Failing to stick to resolutions can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy. For those struggling with anxiety or depression, this added pressure can make January a particularly difficult month.

   
   

Rather than motivating sustained growth, resolutions can become a source of shame, perpetuating cycles of negative self-talk.

Alternatives to Traditional Resolutions

Thankfully, there are healthier, more sustainable ways to approach self-improvement at the start of a new year. Here are some alternatives to the classic resolution model:

1. Set Intentions Instead of Goals: Intentions focus on how you want to live and feel, rather than achieving specific outcomes. For instance, instead of “lose 20 pounds,” you might set an intention to “nurture my body with movement and healthy food.” This approach encourages flexibility and self-compassion.

2. Embrace Micro-Habits: Big changes often feel daunting, but micro-habits—tiny, consistent actions—can make growth manageable. For example, start with a 5-minute daily walk or a single sentence in a gratitude journal. Over time, these small efforts compound into significant progress.

3. Focus on Reflection Over Resolutions: Instead of jumping into ambitious goals, take time to reflect on the past year. What did you learn? What moments made you proud? By understanding where you’ve been, you can better align your future actions with your values.

4. Adopt a Word of the Year: Choose a word or theme to guide your actions throughout the year. Words like “balance,” “courage,” or “growth” serve as touchstones for your decisions, allowing for creativity and flexibility in how you apply them.

5. Commit to Year-Round Growth: Remember, self-improvement isn’t confined to January. You don’t need a new calendar to make changes; every day offers a chance to reset and grow.

   
   

Why Reflection Matters

Replacing resolutions with reflective practices can shift the focus from external validation to internal growth. Reflection allows you to celebrate progress, recognize strengths, and approach the future with intention. It prioritizes self-awareness over societal expectations, making the journey more meaningful.

By understanding your past patterns and motivations, you’re better equipped to create a life aligned with your values—not just during the New Year but throughout the seasons of your life.

Conclusion

New Year’s resolutions aren’t inherently bad, but the pressure to set and achieve them can overshadow their potential benefits. By embracing reflection, intentions, and micro-habits, you can ring in the new year with a mindset that prioritizes mental health and sustainable growth.

In 2025, let’s move away from the “all-or-nothing” mindset. Instead of resolutions, focus on self-discovery and progress at your own pace. After all, the real goal isn’t perfection—it’s becoming the best version of yourself, one small step at a time.

What will you reflect on as you enter this new chapter?

From Festive Stress to Holiday Joy: Supporting Your Mental Health This Christmas

As the festive season approaches, many of us look forward to celebrations, family gatherings, and the joyful spirit that fills the air. However, the season isn’t a purely joyful time for everyone. For many, this it can bring unique pressures and challenges, impacting mental health in ways that might feel overwhelming. But with support such as counselling and solution-focused hypnotherapy, it’s possible to manage stress, increase resilience, and approach the season with a more balanced outlook.

The Mental Health Impact of the Festive Season

The holidays often come with a heightened sense of obligation to feel joyful, generous, and connected. This can create various stressors that can affect mental health, including:

1. Financial Pressure: With holiday expenses, from buying gifts to hosting meals and attending events, many people feel financial strain. This pressure can lead to anxiety and, for some, an increased sense of inadequacy.

2. Family Dynamics: social gatherings can bring family issues to the forefront. Old conflicts, unresolved tensions, and the expectation to enjoy each other’s company can increase stress levels, especially if family relationships are strained.

3. Loneliness: For those without close family or a support network, the holidays can amplify feelings of loneliness. Seeing others spend time with loved ones can heighten the feeling of isolation, impacting self-worth and mental well-being.

4. Grief and Loss: For individuals who have lost loved ones, the season may be a painful reminder of those who are no longer here. This grief can resurface, making it difficult to engage with others or enjoy the festivities.

5. High Expectations: The pressure to ensure everything is “perfect” complete with memorable gifts and magical moments, can create an unrealistic standard. When reality doesn’t match expectations, disappointment, and a sense of failure may arise.

How Counselling Can Help

• Emotional Support: Counsellors are trained to listen and validate your feelings. They help you unpack difficult emotions and provide a non-judgmental space to explore them.

• Developing Coping Strategies: Counselling sessions focus on equipping you with practical coping mechanisms tailored to your specific challenges. For example, if family conflict is a stressor, counsellors can help you develop techniques for setting boundaries and managing triggers.

• Building Resilience: Counselling sessions focus on building emotional resilience, which can help you respond to challenges more effectively. This can be especially valuable during a time when pressures are heightened.

How Solution-Focussed Hypnotherapy Can Help

• Reducing Stress and Anxiety: Solution-focussed hypnotherapy helps to reduce the “fight or flight” response often triggered by stress, allowing you to enter a state of calm. This relaxation can help reduce the physical symptoms of stress and improve overall mental clarity.

• Improving Sleep: For many people, holiday stress disrupts sleep patterns. Through relaxation techniques, solution-focussed hypnotherapy can help you fall asleep more easily and improve sleep quality, which is essential for mental well-being.

• Focusing on the Positive: Solution-focused hypnotherapy encourages you to focus on positive outcomes and envision scenarios where you are in control and at ease. For example, you might visualize yourself managing family dynamics calmly or enjoying a stress-free holiday gathering.

• Boosting Self-Confidence: Solution-focussed hypnotherapy sessions often involve reinforcing self-confidence and empowering you to handle challenges effectively. This can be especially helpful if you struggle with self-doubt, financial stress, or feelings of loneliness during the holiday season.

• Creating New Mental Associations: Through guided visualization, hypnotherapy can help you create positive associations with the holiday season. This shift can help you focus on what brings you joy and let go of previous negative associations, making it easier to approach things with a fresh perspective.

Further Hints and Tips

In addition to seeking support through counselling or solution-focussed hypnotherapy, there are several steps you can take to help manage holiday stress and maintain your mental health:

• Set Realistic Expectations: Avoid putting too much pressure on yourself to create the “perfect” time. Embrace imperfections and remember that things don’t need to meet a specific standard to be meaningful.

• Practice Self-Care: Schedule time for relaxation, whether it’s a walk in nature, reading a book, or spending time on a hobby. Self-care is essential to prevent burnout, especially during a busy season.

• Reach Out for Support: If you’re feeling lonely or overwhelmed, reach out to friends or family, or consider joining local holiday activities. Even a quick phone call or friendly conversation can help reduce feelings of isolation.

• Budget Wisely: Financial stress can often be managed with careful planning. Set a realistic budget for gifts and gatherings and remind yourself that presence and connection are more important than expensive presents.

Final Thoughts

The festive season can evoke a mix of emotions, from joy to sadness to stress. Acknowledging and addressing these feelings can help you make the most of the season while protecting your mental health. With the support of counselling and solution-focused hypnotherapy, you can equip yourself with the tools to manage holiday stress, build resilience, and find meaningful ways to experience the season.

If you’re struggling, remember that you don’t have to navigate the holidays alone. Seeking support is a powerful step toward finding balance, embracing the positive aspects of the season, and fostering a healthier approach to the holidays.

Childhood Stories, Adult Health: How Early Narratives Shape Our Well-Being

I received an email recently from my child's school that outlined if they had 100% attendance then they would regularly be put into a prize draw for different prizes the school would be offering over the course of the academic year. While I understand that this is mainly aimed at getting children into school who wouldn’t ordinarily attend, it got me thinking about the narratives being given to children when they are genuinely unwell and how this might impact how we approach health and illness as adults.

Woman unwell laying on sofa

From the moment we are born, we are constantly absorbing information from the world around us. For many of us, the way we understand and approach health and illness as adults can be traced back to the narratives we were given in childhood. These early lessons, whether they came from our parents, teachers, or culture, play a profound role in shaping our attitudes, beliefs, and behaviours around well-being.

“It’s just a cold, stop complaining” or “Just go to school and push through and see how you feel later”

Do these sound familiar? As children, we learn through stories such as explicit tales our parents tell us, or from more subtle messages we pick up from the way the adults in our lives react to illness. We may be taught that illness is something to fear and avoid at all costs, or it may have been framed as a natural part of life? We may have been encouraged to "tough it out" when we got sick, or we were taken seriously and cared for with compassion?

For instance, a child who grows up hearing phrases like those above may learn to minimize their symptoms and push through discomfort as an adult, potentially ignoring serious signs of illness. On the other hand, a child raised in a household where every sneeze led to anxiety and immediate medical attention might develop an excessive fear of illness, leading to health anxiety.

In many cultures, especially those that value stoicism or resilience, children are taught to view illness as a weakness. Catching a cold, experiencing pain, or needing rest might be seen as a sign of failure or vulnerability. This narrative often leads to the glorification of pushing through sickness — the "health hero" narrative.

As adults, people who internalize this mindset may be more likely to dismiss their health needs, avoid seeking medical help, or feel ashamed of being sick. They may prioritize work and responsibilities over their own well-being, leading to burnout or chronic health issues. This pressure to “be strong” or “tough it out” can prevent people from taking the time they need to rest, recover, and heal properly.

On the other side, some children are raised in environments where illness is seen as a constant threat, and they are sheltered from anything that might make them sick.  This can lead to anxiety around health in adulthood. If a child is taught that germs are dangerous or that any sign of sickness must be immediately addressed with medical intervention, they may grow up hyper-aware of their health, often feeling anxious about potential illnesses.

Adults who grew up with this narrative might be more prone to frequent doctor visits, excessive worry about minor symptoms, or even health-avoidant behaviours where they avoid environments or activities that they fear might make them ill.

One of the more positive narratives that can shape adult attitudes is the importance of empathy and caregiving in times of illness. Children who grow up in environments where sickness is met with compassion and care — rather than fear, annoyance, or neglect — often carry this empathy into adulthood.

These adults may be more likely to seek care when needed, approach illness with a balanced attitude, and offer genuine support to others who are sick. They may also have healthier relationships with rest, knowing that taking time to recover isn’t a sign of weakness but of self-respect and responsibility.

So, how do we rewrite/change these narratives. Recognizing the impact of childhood narratives on our adult attitudes towards health and illness can be incredibly liberating. Once we understand the origins of our health behaviours, we can begin to rewrite these scripts. For example:

• Challenge the “tough it out” narrative by recognizing when your body needs rest and allowing yourself the space to heal without guilt.

• Manage health anxiety by seeking a balanced understanding of sickness and working with a healthcare professional to address your concerns in a healthy way.

• Reframe body image by focusing on how you feel rather than how you look, emphasizing functional health over appearance.

  
  

We all have the power to question the stories we were told and decide which ones to keep and which ones to let go of. By doing so, we can cultivate healthier, more compassionate attitudes toward ourselves and others when it comes to health and illness.

In conclusion, the narratives we are given as children about health and sickness are often internalized in ways we may not even realize. These stories shape our beliefs about what it means to be sick, how we should take care of ourselves, and how we respond to others in need. By reflecting on these early influences and consciously reshaping our perspectives, we can foster a more balanced, informed, and compassionate approach to health as adults.